5 Signs Your Child is Struggling with Stress (and How to Help)

5 Signs Your Child is Struggling with Stress (and How to Help)

Recognizing stress in children is crucial for their overall well-being and development. Stress can manifest in various ways and impact their physical, emotional, and academic life. As parents, it's important to identify these signs early and provide the necessary support.

Sign 1: Changes in Behavior:

• Examples: Increased irritability, withdrawal from activities, changes in sleep patterns.

• Explanation: Behavioral changes such as irritability, withdrawal from favorite activities, or altered sleep patterns can be indicators of stress. These changes often reflect the child's struggle to cope with underlying issues.

Sign 2: Physical Symptoms:

• Examples: Headaches, stomachaches, fatigue.

• Explanation: Stress can have physical manifestations, including headaches, stomachaches, and fatigue. These symptoms are the body's response to emotional strain and can significantly affect a child's daily life.

Sign 3: Academic Decline:

• Examples: Drop in grades, lack of interest in schoolwork.

• Explanation: Stress can impair concentration and cognitive function, leading to a decline in academic performance. A noticeable drop in grades or a lack of interest in schoolwork may signal that a child is struggling.

Sign 4: Social Withdrawal:

• Examples: Avoiding friends, reluctance to participate in social activities.

• Explanation: Children experiencing stress may withdraw from social interactions, avoiding friends and activities they once enjoyed. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and anxiety.

Sign 5: Emotional Outbursts:

• Examples: Frequent crying, anger outbursts.

• Explanation: Heightened emotional responses, such as frequent crying or anger outbursts, can be a sign of stress. These reactions often stem from the child's inability to manage their emotions effectively.

• Practical Tips:

  • Open Communication: Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and listen without judgment.

  • Creating a Supportive Environment: Provide a safe and nurturing space where your child feels comfortable expressing themselves.

  • Encouraging Healthy Habits: Promote regular physical activity, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep.

  • Seeking Professional Help: If needed, consult a pediatrician or child psychologist for additional support.

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• Resources:

  • Psychology Today

  • Basepoint Academy

Recognizing and addressing stress in children is essential for their mental health. As parents, being proactive and supportive can make a significant difference in helping your child navigate their challenges.

Personal Reflection: As a mother of six, with four still at home, I understand that children come in all different sizes and shapes. Having been an educator for the last 30 years and a significant part of my family and friends' children's lives, I've learned from both good choices and bad ones.

I will never forget an experience at ballet class, waiting for my daughter during hour six (if you're a ballet mom, you understand). A friend's daughter was talking with so much sass and frustration. My friend remained calm and focused on what her daughter was discussing, not how she was saying it. I thought, "Wow." As an African American, we often see kids not having a voice. I'm not here to berate this or make my friend out to be a saint—both parental styles have their pros and cons.

As an educator, I see it both ways: some kids with too much privilege and autonomy can become lost, while others with no freedoms can also struggle. The point is, kids are hard, and there is no right or wrong way. Add to that marriage, a job, school, and trying to move ahead in life, and it's enough to make you want to scream. How do you get help? Where do you get help?

Don't get me started if you have a special needs kid—that's an even more overwhelming list. I have a gifted son and a developmentally delayed son, and a few in the middle. They are all just where they are supposed to be.

Back to the story in the ballet lobby—shout out to Tuzer Ballet in Richardson, TX, the best dance school. I watched in awe and thought, "When my then 7-year-old grows up, I pray for the ability to be patient and kind and still hold it together." From that moment on, I became a different parent. I tried to see and hear my kids and know that I wasn't going to fall apart if I didn't have the upper hand because the truth is, we don't. Just like God has the upper hand but doesn't will it over us, we do not control their lives.

You see, sometimes we get so busy or we are so stressed that we don't see the signs or we ignore them. I'm not telling you to roll over and give in to all the signs—who has time for that? And that doesn't teach resilience or coping, a skill we are starting to lose in our society. But from that day forward, I learned that the moment is not about the what; these moments are about the how's. How we get through things and how we grow, learn, and change.

Paying attention, giving them a voice, and giving ourselves some grace and freedom are just a few of the steps needed.